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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

How to Survive the Mission Field


~My Personal Top Ten~

...just another blog written on the rooftop of Haiti.

So, you want to be a missionary, eh? Well, here is my official missionary advice. Feel free to take it or leave it. 

This advice describes how I have successfully survived the mission field with my bazillion children, along with over 80 employees, over 160 Haitian children, and two organizations I help to oversee – whew!  Now of course I probably need to enter some kind of ministry rehab for burnt out missionaries, but thats another blog for another time. Ha- we will visit that topic very soon. ;)

1. The Mission Field Starts With Your Family
Your mission field first begins with your family. If you are having marital issues, child behavioral issues, extended family conflicts, etc., going to the mission field will not solve those problems. Any problems you bring to the mission field will only be magnified. Your mission field must first be your family. So many ministers pour into others, while their family gets the "leftovers." Pastor, teach, evangelize, and minister to your family first before anyone else. When your family is in order, you will find that they are the ones who spur you on to pour into others. Your work becomes a ministry in which the family pours out together, not just the father. If you are aching to go to the mission field, try visiting your extended family members, and practice serving them first. Wash their feet for a season. Seek reconciliation in your relationships with them, even if you have been wronged. Serve them first! Don't ever leave to go overseas with bitterness in your heart. I will say it again – seek reconciliation even if you have been wronged. We have no business going overseas if our home life is not in order – end of story. The Gospel of Jesus Christ needs to be lived out daily around the dinnter table- before it enters the mission field.  May the strength of our ministry reflect the strength of our home!

2. Make it Your Goal to Wash Feet
Don't go overseas to promote yourself, acquire followers or supporters, or to teach your ways to the people. Go wash their feet. Let me say that again: go wash their feet! Go carry water for them. Go learn about their culture. Go sit and hand-wash clothes with them. Go help them sweep their dirt floors and bury their loved ones. Sit and tell jokes with them. Go be Jesus in real life to them. Once you build their trust and respect, I am telling you, all doors will be open! Then you can preach the Gospel. Then you can teach them how to garden and make a living for their families. We are not better than the vulnerable and weak. If you think you are, then please don't enter the mission field. You should be able to enter the homes of the poorest of the poor, and treat them the same way you would treat famous kings and queens. Meet their needs before attempting to shove the Gospel down their throats. Don't preach to a hungry person without feeding him first! Live out the Gospel – don't just preach it!

3. Live Debt-Free and Free to Give
My darling, dearest future missionaries who may read this, please hear my heart. If you have thousands and thousands of dollars in debt, please spare us all of the plea letters asking for support. Pay off your debt before you touch the mission field. Your finances need to be in order. Those who are good stewards with the little they have will be trusted with more. Those who are not good stewards with the little they have will only make the little debt turn into a bigger debt. Get rid of the extra, and live simply. I know what it feels like to be the single mom who has to work for every penny and take on extra jobs just to put food on the table. If you do not have a good work ethic in the good ol’ USA, the mission field is not your escape. Whether you agree with Dave Ramsey or not, some of his principles have saved us countless of times! Oh, how we love that emergency fund! Many times we had to say goodbye to it – but thankfully, it was there! Live debt-free so that you have the freedom to GIVE, GIVE, GIVE...and then give some more! Give until it hurts!

4. Learn the Language
Learn the Language. I was an ignorant fool before I learned to speak Creole. But once I did learn it, it was like a whole new world opened up, and all made sense. Thankfully, my kids became fluent, and have since become my translators (as I have been told that my Creole is horrendous, with my strong accent and high-pitched voice). I definitely have lots to learn – but I try, and the Haitian people appreciate the effort. I may get more laughs than I would like, but it works! Remember, you don't have to speak the language perfectly, but at least try! Learning Creole has given me the opportunity to sit amongst the Haitians in their dirt huts and connect with them, heart to heart.

5. Say “Goodbye” to the Missionary Handbook
I am ready to throw away all those missionary handbooks that tell you to dress in your worst clothing and leave all your nice items at home. I will never forget attending a "World Blitz" at my church. I was about to go to Bulgaria and Romania, and I had to go through a time of training. (you can read about this in my blog called "Confessions of a Missionary: Part 1") I remember looking the part. I had found my ugliest, oldest, stain-ridden clothes. I was rocking the fanny pack, the missionary braids, and even the missionary bandanna. I had my "Save the World Blitz" t-shirt on with my unmatched long skirt. If I remember right, I was also sporting a pair of Keds tennis shoes – and socks to match the t-shirt, of course! (Oh, and I am pretty sure I had the matching hair scrunchie as well!) I took out my earrings – heaven forbid they get stolen! (sarcasm) I was ready to go save Bulgaria and Romania, and I had the t-shirt to prove it! Well, I will never forget getting off the airplane and being completely ticked off, because all the Bulgarians looked and dressed nicer then me. I looked ridiculous. All I wanted to do was go shopping for new clothes. I was horrified when I realized that all I had prepared and packed for was not what this country needed. Then it hit me. Wait, aren't we representing Christ and the very heart of God? Surely, even Jesus back in Bible times didn’t look as ridiculous as I do! I remember feeling like a complete idiot, going from church to church preaching the Gospel, all the while realizing there had to be more. I can almost guarantee you those churches wouldn’t remember me today! I am thinking it's time for a new missionary handbook to be written. We have got to lay this prideful missionary spirit down that says, "We know best." The truth is that oftentimes, we don't know best, and it’s time to allow God to teach us what it really means to be on the mission field.  So Reflect Jesus well on the mission field! 

6. Be Willing to Bleed, Suffer, and Die
Don't enter the mission field if you are not willing to bleed, suffer, and die for your neighbors. If you are not there yet, then please save money on newsletters and business cards, and just make your community and family your mission field for a season. I’m pretty sure I don't need to go into any more detail. Be willing to bleed, suffer, and die, or don’t go – end of story.

7. Don't Harass the Churches
Prospective missionaries often go from church to church asking for financial support, and I would love to see that changed! Certainly, there must be another way! Now, I am not saying that it is wrong to go from church to church, but we must be careful to not cast a vision without actually acting upon it. Churches in America have been burned by missionaries overseas who end up abusing the finances they receive. Don't quote me if I am wrong, but I am pretty sure the Bible says, “Go into all the world, preach the Gospel, and make disciples of men.” If that is the case, I am pretty sure that we as a Church have been wrong. Instead of simply going, we are hitting up every church in America, sucking the Church dry for our building projects. We are too busy sending out prayer cards and newsletters when we should be sitting and washing our neighbors’ feet. We need to seek the heart of God and figure out what Scripture says about raising funds – there has to be another way!

8. A Word to the Parents
Dear parents, please stop sending your rebellious teenagers overseas, thinking that living in a third world country will change them. If I had a dollar for every parent who wanted to send their rebellious teen to me, I could possibly feed a section of Haiti! I'm not sure what the reasoning is when you send your teenagers to a foreign country and expect a mission organization to fix them. Can you please just step it up? Go hold them until they heal. Go tackle them to the ground, and make sure they know you are completely for them, and love them. Stop emailing me, because, no, I will not take your rebellious teenager. But I would be glad to pray for you and would encourage you to hold them until they heal. Parenting doesn't stop when children become teenagers. When they hit the teen stage, it simply means that we as parents have to step it up and parent them with a purpose and a passion! Trust me I am parenting 6 teenagers this year, and I personally understand how difficult it is.  I feel your pain- but please keep them off the mission field for now. Let their schools be their mission fields. ;)

9. Avoid Zeal Without Knowledge
I had a missionary ask to serve alongside of me. I said “no,” and here is the reason why: I went on a trip with this person, and while I was impressed by their passion and zeal for the people of Haiti, I was disappointed by their behavior in the following situations:

- During times when I was sharing or preaching, this person would walk away in the middle of the ministry time because they “felt led” to go do something else. I had a hard time believing it was the Holy Spirit’s leading, because it was both rude and disrespectful.  

- This person kept claiming that they had come to wash my feet, but instead they had made lists of things in the ministry that needed to be fixed. One time, this person humiliated me in front of my staff by pointing out all my flaws (as if I don't already know them!).

- This person would always abandon their post. They didn't receive orders, but only tried to interpret the orders. I remember a time at the market, when this person had been given a specific job to accomplish, but abandoned it to go preach the Gospel.

- This person was always defensive and constantly played the devil’s advocate, while continuously talking about their strengths and what they could do for the ministry.

The Bible clearly says in Luke 14:10, “But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests.”

I could possibly write a book titled "What Not to Do with Your Non-Profit.” However, one thing that has definitely helped our ministry is hiring the right people! We have zero strife amongst the leadership and no drama – just pure JESUS and teamwork, having the same mind-set and aim to build God's kingdom, not our own! (Now please note it took me a long time to get there! I have made my fair share of missionary mistakes!)

So, be careful, my friends. Don't get caught up in hype and zeal. Rather, let's use our God-given brains and allow God to teach us how to survive the mission field in a biblical way! Let's take the lowest place and serve!

10. How I Supernaturally Funded and Self-Supported My Family
Just because you have a business card, website, and a "big dream" does not make you a missionary. I remember when I first went to live in Haiti. I had no business cards (and still don't), no website, no brochures, and had never sent a newsletter. I had a clear word from the Lord to not ask a single person for money. I have only asked for money once, and that was when I asked the church I grew up in, and where my father pastored. I still to this day do not have a single church supporting me or the ministry. I remember one of the board members even sent me a check for $200.00, saying they would get back with me. Well, they never did get back with me. I remember sitting in Haiti, in tears, thinking, How can a church that I grew up in, where my father pastored, not support me? If they could at least send me one dollar a month, that would at least heal this church wound that has entered my heart.

I had to sit back and watch friends I had grown up with in youth group get monthly support because their family members were on the board. But somehow the single lady with a bazillion kids, whose father was the pastor, gets ignored? I was having a pity party, asking the Lord how was I going to do this if I had no supporters. Well, that is where I was wrong. I was asking God how I was going to do this. But in reality, It should never be about me and you. It's about God – end of story! I was in the wrong mind-set! Somehow I had made this whole thing about me, when it actually had nothing to do with me.

So, here is how we have survived the mission field: we sold everything! We sold it all. We supported ourselves with the supernatural help of God. We sold our car and our belongings, and traded them in for the Haitian people. We chose to live amongst the people of Haiti for three years, on a rooftop. I have never asked a single person for money other than my father's church – and I plan to keep it that way. God supernaturally provided! The ministry exploded once I finally surrendered! I stepped out and allowed God to step in and run this mission. We need to stop thinking that we have something to accomplish on the mission field. Let us abandon ourselves! Let us crucify ourselves, and choose to die daily to our flesh! May we crush our flesh, and tell our Spirit to rise! May we look, smell, walk, talk, and breathe like Jesus! Amazing and miraculous things happen when we step out and allow God to step in. I am living proof of this! There is no way some young, very broken girl like me could have done this! I did nothing other than crucify myself in Christ! I am not amazing – I simply said “yes” to dying to myself.

(Bonus Advice...) If You Don't Like the People or the Country, Go Home!
If you don't like the country, please don't move there. One of my biggest irritations is when missionaries dislike the native people. As I’ve worked here in Haiti, I’ve constantly been appalled at how many missionaries dislike Haitians. I don't understand it. I know one organization that decided they couldn't trust any Haitians, so they fired all their Haitian staff and only have Americans running the mission. I would like to ask them why they are even in Haiti in the first place! Now, don't get me wrong. I, too, have fired Haitian staff due to lack of integrity, etc. But what I am learning about the Haitian people is that many of them just don't know another way of living. There is such a lack of "men" in Haiti, men willing to step up and do the right thing. But isn't that why we are in Haiti? Isn’t our desire to disciple and reach out to the Haitian people? I am praying for godly masculinity and femininity to be restored in this country! I pray that God gives you an unconditional love for His people! – may you see them through His eyes.

(And a Final Note to Pastors and Churches...)
Here is my advice to pastors who are considering supporting a ministry through their church. What I have noticed is this: many individuals who couldn't survive working in ministry in the U.S. flock to different countries. There are people who were on food stamps while living in the U.S. now making eighty thousand dollar yearly incomes on the mission field. ( I am not bashing people who need govt assistance!- just an observation) We have unstable, unhealthy, and spiritually, emotionally and mentally ill people running ministries overseas. Actually, it is probably the same with many churches today. We have unhealthy pastors – pastoring! The difference is this: it seems that we missionaries can get away with a lot more, due to the fact that we are overseas and just send a newsletter or post a blog from time to time.

Here is what I recommend you do before you decide to support a missionary:

1. If possible, go to the country they are in and visit them. Sometimes websites and social media sites do not portray truth, but only cast a vision.

2. “Stalk” the prospective candidate on the Internet. Some missionaries tend to “flaunt” their work in a sense. For example, they’ll buy a poor person a plate of food, and then brag about it by posting a picture on Facebook or Twitter. If you see something like that happening, consider it to be a red flag!

3. If the missionary bashes other people or talks against another organization – run! If they are willing to talk negatively toward their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, it’s another red flag! There is never any excuse for missionaries to trash one another – end of story! We need to control our tongues! “Out of the heart the mouth speaks” – listen to what is in the person’s heart, and listen with discernment.

4. I have seen many missionaries start something and then end it after only a year or two. I am tired of seeing marriages fall apart on the mission field. I am tired of hearing about the missionaries who fall into sexual temptation. Before you support someone, make your expectations "over the top" clear! Keep the person accountable! Those of us who have nothing to hide will have no issues with showing you our bank statements and financial dealings. Make sure there is a level of accountability!  Also, maybe you are just called to GIVE with no expectations- if that is the case, then obey.  Don't listen to me by any means.  I am just a professional rambler! ;)

5). We have lots of dreamers, but not a whole lot of doers! A church should be known for its sending capacity, not its seating capacity! Set a clear "Code of Conduct" for the missionaries your church supports. Have someone in your congregation oversee this area. Make sure communication and organization are extremely detailed and sound. Search the Scriptures, and find out exactly what God has to say about all this. Touch His heart first, before touching the hearts of missionaries. Once you have touched His heart, He will lead you to the missionaries you are supposed to send, support, and strengthen!
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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Table For Nine - Chapter 2- Victoria

Here is an unedited glimpse of Chapter 2 from the book.. "TABLE FOR NINE." This Chapter is called... "Victoria."  I attached the original letter of when this was written.  I still cry/laugh every time I read this.

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THIS:
If you Invite God into your parenting daily...MIRACLES will happen. ~Heather Elyse

****************************************

Dear Mom,

I came to you from an Institution. You told me I was family.
I told you I hated you. You chose to adopt me.
I refused to walk, so I crawled. You bought me knee pads.
I killed animals. You Forgave me.
I broke your valuables. You told me I was more important.
I carved all over your walls. You placed a frame over them and called it “artwork.”
I screamed at you and stomped up the stairs. You hollered back....”I love you.”
I burned down your kitchen. You bought a grill.
I smeared feces on your walls. You told me no big deal, and bought more bleach and removed the bathroom door.
I refused to shower. You bought a blow up pool, and told me to go swimming.
I refused to let you hold me. You grabbed my sock and said...”fine I will hold this.”
I pushed you. You held me tighter.
I tried not to let you in. You kept knocking at my heart.
I ripped up any papers you had- just to hurt you. You printed more.
I tried to run away. You quickly packed me a lunch and handed me emergency numbers.
I screamed at you, hoping you would scream back. You just sat there smiling and singing "oh happy day."
I destroyed my room. You said it needed to be remodeled anyways.
I was depressed. So you jumped on my bed in the morning- and blasted Worship music.
I told you I couldn’t get up in the mornings. You told me to crawl out of bed and you would help me brush my teeth.
I told you I wanted to die. You told me you couldn’t afford a funeral, so why not change the world instead- and die as a Martyr.
I told you I hated men. You cut them out of all my books and magazines.
I told you I wasn’t normal. You said....”Perfect I am only raising up extraordinary different Children.”
~I told you I would never heal.~
You told me you would Hold Me until the pain is gone.

You promised to continue to hold me even when this pain did leave.

The Pain has left.
I am still being held.
Thank you.

Love, Victoria


From the mouth of Victoria:
You sat me down in the middle of our living room floor. You handed me boxes of matches and tons of paper and said, “I am not sure why you destroy everything you touch, but let’s get it out of your system.” So you sat there and started lighting match after match. You started ripping up paper into small pieces, and I sat there cold hearted and just stared at you. I was angry. I am not quite sure why I was angry. Anger was normal for me. I remember you started to pray out loud. I can’t remember the exact words, but the prayer went something like this:

“Dear God, I ask you to walk into this living room right now, and sit down beside our daughter Victoria. You told me to adopt her, I obeyed. She is mine.  She is yours and we love her. You also promised that I wouldn’t have to raise her alone. So it’s your turn God. You are her father! She needs daddy time right now! I need you to show yourself real to her. Take her heart and replace it with yours.    Take my tears and pour them on her open wounds. Let her FEEL again. Hold her like a father holds his brand new baby girl. Pick her up and swing her around. Let her climb on your feet and hold onto your legs... and dance with her! Put her on your lap and sing to her while you caress her hair. May she feel your presence and even smell your sweet fragrance. May she be so close to you that she knows when her daddy God has entered the room. Whisper those precious daddy words ... I love you to her heart. Tell her how much you adore her, and how beautiful she is to you. Tell her that she was birthed from my heart and came from you.  I am certain she has your eyes God. I see you in her. Let her heart beat again. You have seen every tear that she has cried. I happen to know you cried with her. Your word says in Psalm 56:4 that you catch our tears and put them into a bottle, and number our wanderings.  Oh Dear God you have numbered our daughter's wanderings.  Take that bottle filled with her tears, and pour it back out on her like a rush of healing waves.  Go to the deepest parts of her heart and restore."

From the mouth of Victoria:

After you prayed, I began to rip the paper up with you.  With every rip the tears began to fall.  I could feel again.  As I sat there ripping up the papers and lighting the matches, I could feel God rip inside of me, and begin to destroy all the hurt and pain I have experienced.  I couldn't control my sobbing.  I felt these arms that you claimed to be my father surround me.  I thought you were crazy for praying to an imaginary God that you called my father.  That is I thought you were crazy until I felt him.  You kept telling God that I was His and yours.  You always said "Our" daughter when you prayed.  I sat there completely broken and for the first time I did feel my feet on top of God's.  I imagined my hands around his legs, and He danced with me.  Yes God danced with me as I sobbed.  I could feel him lift my broken body onto his lap.  I felt my hair being caressed and I could even smell this fragrance you spoke about.  

to be continued..... 

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Top 3 Embarrassing Moments




1). Drenched in 10 year old Urine:

I can handle baby pee, but a ten year old’s -- that’s like an adult dumping a bucket of well urine on you. Yes, I had to walk around smelling like urine/pee/peepee (not sure what is socially acceptable to call it), and no, I didn't have a change of clothes. I greatly apologize to American Airlines flight 951!!! Also, to make things more adventurous, this same daughter who had "the accident" wore little plastic red Dorothy shoes that were donated to the mission. She donated her Juicy Couture boots, and ended up thinking these plastic-high heeled-sparkly shoes were better, so she switched. I normally check my darling kids before they leave the house, but somehow this daughter snuck passed her fashion police momma! So again, my apologies to American Airlines and customs who had to deal with the lady who smelled like pee traveling with a small little country, and a daughter who clicked her heels together as she left the plane drenched in pee (note: I am not a fan of the word pee so please forgive my bluntness. I just don't know a more appropriate word to call it).


2). Psycho/ Overprotective Mom Episode 7,5894:

I want to personally apologize for barging in on all the men who were trying to take care of business in the men’s bathroom at the Denver, Colorado airport. Being a single mom, I have always been hesitant to send my young boys into the mens bathroom alone without a chaperone. So yes, I have been "that mom" who takes their boys into the ladies bathroom. Recently, my son announced he could go into the restroom by himself, but I still cringe every time he goes in. I watch the clock like an overprotective, psychomomma. I may still holler in a few times just to remind him to wash his hands, and an occasional, "are you ok?" Now, what I am about to share with you, please know, I'm not exactly proud of. This will not be in some "hall of fame" of parenting techniques. This was me just having what I like to call "a Heather moment!" My son had just entered the men's restroom, and I had to go to the bathroom as well. However, I was too frightened because I wanted to monitor and make sure my son came out. I began to pace and obsess over the time and say to myself, "what is taking so long?" Next thing I know, like a raging momma bear whose cub has just gotten stolen, I storm into the men's bathroom searching for my son. It's packed with busy business traveling men doing "their thing." I flip out when I don't see my son, and started apologizing to all the men in a panic, and begin to search for him thoroughly. I think they were all so shocked I had the nerve to walk right in, that several men started helping me look for my son. My heart is racing, I'm sweating bullets, and I can feel the mommy tears filling my eyes! My son is nowhere to be found in that men's restroom! I storm out ready to go find security, when my son all of a sudden comes out of the ladies restroom with my daughter. He says gently, " I know how worried you get when I go alone into the men's bathroom so I decided to just save "some drama," and go into the ladies." I guess somewhere in the midst of my pacing like a mad woman, I didn't see him enter the ladies restroom. I apologize to all the Men in the Denver Airport for my insane overprotective behavior. ;) Guilty times 1,000.


3). My "F" in SEX- (read before judging) ;)

I was speaking at a church and my son, "Mr. Alexander" was not sitting still so I gave him my iPhone where he could play a silent game of Tetris. I know that this wasn't the best parenting, but all eyes were upon us, and I was desperate to keep my son quiet. I am not sure how to begin to write the following events that took place. I am blushing just writing this right now. However, I want to ask that you please do not stop reading this once you begin. Read it thoroughly, so there are no misunderstandings, or new rumors started (I already have a nice collection of rumors about me, and this one doesn't need to be added to that list)! Now, back to my story. Imagine you are sitting in the audience listening to my testimony of adoption, when all of a sudden a little boy who is proud he can now read hollers out very concerned, "Mom your drivers license says you have had sex!" -- "mom, it says you got an F in Sex!” How does one even recover from such a thing?? I gently walked down trying to not let the audience see me shake. My son was sitting in the front row and had been bored with Tetris so he decided to dig through my purse. He found my drivers license, and was extremely concerned when he saw SEX was written on it. I had to publicly explain to him that “SEX” means gender and the "F" was for female. Thankfully the Holy Spirit saved me, and all of a sudden I turned the entire thing into a hilarious illustration that had my audience laughing hysterically. What people didn't know was while I was closing in prayer, my thoughts were on how I wanted to get my hands on my son, and how I would need to hire someone to watch him next time I do a speaking event. Dear Grace Church, when you saw me beet red it wasn't because it was hot in the service, but because I was extremely embarrassed. When you saw me motion to my daughter and sweetly smile to her, it was really a secret family code that we have made up to watch the kid next to you. Also, when you saw me gently and ever so sweetly brush my hand on my sons arm, and take the drivers license away that was a secret family code for, "Drink a Big Glass of Self Control or yippeekayay will be happening later!" For those who do not know what yippeekayay means in our family...good.... because you are not suppose to know. ;) Happy parenting everyone!!
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                                                                   Dorothy Shoes!




My son outside the Denver, Colorado MEN's Restroom!! 

                                                                      MY "F" in sex!


                                                         Happy Parenting everyone!!!! ;)


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

My Top 3 Church Confessions

My Top 3 Church Confessions

Yes, I love God.  Always have, always will.  It's my faith that has gotten me through this insane journey, otherwise known as my life. 

But I have a confession to make...I don't like church. Never have, probably never will.

Maybe it’s because I grew up as a pastor’s kid.  I was forced to sit in the front row, where I felt like all eyes were always upon me.  I hated living in this glass house that was created for me.   Church to me felt like a performance, not some Holy Experience.  Now for the record, I was never one of those wild pastors’ daughters.  The most I ever did was chew gum in church, well, that and take two communion cups of grape juice (but then, hasn’t everyone done that a time or twelve?). 

Maybe it’s because getting this many children ready every Sunday morning has been years of complete exhaustion.  

I am convinced my Pastor needs to have a special handicapped parking space just for me.  Because after getting that many kids ready and out the door, by the time I pull into the church parking lot, I am feeling pretty well disabled. Sometimes I think people need to just have a wheel chair ready for me, so after I get my kids dropped off and signed into their appropriate classes they can just wheel me in.  I sit down most of the time during worship, not out of irreverence, but out of pure exhaustion.  If you ever saw me crying in church, most likely it wasn't because I was touched by the Holy Spirit. ;)  

Thank God my parents taught me what it was to have a relationship with God, not just some Sunday morning experience.  I am forever grateful for them teaching me what a quiet time was, how to hear that still small voice, and encouraged me to search out scriptures that provide the daily guidance for our lives. Even though our family was and is known for its extreme dysfunction, I am at least grateful my parents taught us about the heart of God.  That overshadows all the rest. 

I have learned that church is not a religion, it's a building.  The Pastor is not God, nor should he ever be placed on some pedestal.  It's a man trying to lead by example, the best that he knows how, both on Sunday and throughout the week. He or she will make mistakes and when they do, the sun will still shine, Big Bird will still be yellow, and God is still on the throne. I mean that's what Forgiveness is for... right? 

I am convinced the church should not worry about its seating capacity, but its sending capacity.

Church is supposed to be a place where people feel safe to fellowship and unite in worship. My prayer is that churches everywhere become more outwardly focused instead of inwardly focused. 

365 million orphans in this world, while the church is building coffee shops.  May God awaken our hearts to revival not caffeine.

Here are my top 3 Utterly Ridiculous Church Confessions. 

1). I pop beano into my children's mouths like it is candy before church.  While the congregation is praying, I am normally praying one of my kids don't drop a smelly bomb in the middle of service, like they do most everywhere else.  I normally have my roll on perfume ready and my fragrance hand sanitizer ready just in case they decide to drop a bomb.  If one does get dropped, I just casually apply the hand sanitizer to my hands and pray it helps disguise the smell.   

2). I attend mega churches so I don't have to socialize.  Pathetic? Yes, I know.  I am well known for showing up late, leaving early, and sitting in the back nearest the exit.  I am not saying I am proud of this.  I know it’s ridiculous and utterly childish, but I just can't help it.  I have the personality where everyone asks me to do this and lead that, and I just struggle with the concept of just saying NO. I try and tell my children to not mention what their mother does for a living, for fear they will have me come speak in some women’s group, make a video, lead a small group, do some mission special, or head up some children's programs.  Is this selfish? Probably.  I just get exhausted because in this family, we can’t help but make a scene pretty much wherever we go, and people always want to know "OUR STORY."  Next thing I know it people want to know how to adopt, how I can afford having so many children, why I am still single, etc. 

3). I text in church.  Not proud of it, and I don't recommend it.  Ever since it was cool to open your Bible using the YouVersion BIBLE APP on your iPhone, I have found that it has also been so tempting to catch up on an email or a text message.  I have had text conversations with my pastor’s wife, and other friends who are pastors’ wives in the middle of church, so obviously I’m not the only one that is guilty in this area.  I normally don't text when my Pastor is speaking, but when there is a guest speaker… GUILTY! 

Well there you have it….my Top 3 Church Confessions.  Thank God his mercy is new every morning!



For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. - Romans 12:3-5