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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

How to Survive the Mission Field


~My Personal Top Ten~

...just another blog written on the rooftop of Haiti.

So, you want to be a missionary, eh? Well, here is my official missionary advice. Feel free to take it or leave it. 

This advice describes how I have successfully survived the mission field with my bazillion children, along with over 80 employees, over 160 Haitian children, and two organizations I help to oversee – whew!  Now of course I probably need to enter some kind of ministry rehab for burnt out missionaries, but thats another blog for another time. Ha- we will visit that topic very soon. ;)

1. The Mission Field Starts With Your Family
Your mission field first begins with your family. If you are having marital issues, child behavioral issues, extended family conflicts, etc., going to the mission field will not solve those problems. Any problems you bring to the mission field will only be magnified. Your mission field must first be your family. So many ministers pour into others, while their family gets the "leftovers." Pastor, teach, evangelize, and minister to your family first before anyone else. When your family is in order, you will find that they are the ones who spur you on to pour into others. Your work becomes a ministry in which the family pours out together, not just the father. If you are aching to go to the mission field, try visiting your extended family members, and practice serving them first. Wash their feet for a season. Seek reconciliation in your relationships with them, even if you have been wronged. Serve them first! Don't ever leave to go overseas with bitterness in your heart. I will say it again – seek reconciliation even if you have been wronged. We have no business going overseas if our home life is not in order – end of story. The Gospel of Jesus Christ needs to be lived out daily around the dinnter table- before it enters the mission field.  May the strength of our ministry reflect the strength of our home!

2. Make it Your Goal to Wash Feet
Don't go overseas to promote yourself, acquire followers or supporters, or to teach your ways to the people. Go wash their feet. Let me say that again: go wash their feet! Go carry water for them. Go learn about their culture. Go sit and hand-wash clothes with them. Go help them sweep their dirt floors and bury their loved ones. Sit and tell jokes with them. Go be Jesus in real life to them. Once you build their trust and respect, I am telling you, all doors will be open! Then you can preach the Gospel. Then you can teach them how to garden and make a living for their families. We are not better than the vulnerable and weak. If you think you are, then please don't enter the mission field. You should be able to enter the homes of the poorest of the poor, and treat them the same way you would treat famous kings and queens. Meet their needs before attempting to shove the Gospel down their throats. Don't preach to a hungry person without feeding him first! Live out the Gospel – don't just preach it!

3. Live Debt-Free and Free to Give
My darling, dearest future missionaries who may read this, please hear my heart. If you have thousands and thousands of dollars in debt, please spare us all of the plea letters asking for support. Pay off your debt before you touch the mission field. Your finances need to be in order. Those who are good stewards with the little they have will be trusted with more. Those who are not good stewards with the little they have will only make the little debt turn into a bigger debt. Get rid of the extra, and live simply. I know what it feels like to be the single mom who has to work for every penny and take on extra jobs just to put food on the table. If you do not have a good work ethic in the good ol’ USA, the mission field is not your escape. Whether you agree with Dave Ramsey or not, some of his principles have saved us countless of times! Oh, how we love that emergency fund! Many times we had to say goodbye to it – but thankfully, it was there! Live debt-free so that you have the freedom to GIVE, GIVE, GIVE...and then give some more! Give until it hurts!

4. Learn the Language
Learn the Language. I was an ignorant fool before I learned to speak Creole. But once I did learn it, it was like a whole new world opened up, and all made sense. Thankfully, my kids became fluent, and have since become my translators (as I have been told that my Creole is horrendous, with my strong accent and high-pitched voice). I definitely have lots to learn – but I try, and the Haitian people appreciate the effort. I may get more laughs than I would like, but it works! Remember, you don't have to speak the language perfectly, but at least try! Learning Creole has given me the opportunity to sit amongst the Haitians in their dirt huts and connect with them, heart to heart.

5. Say “Goodbye” to the Missionary Handbook
I am ready to throw away all those missionary handbooks that tell you to dress in your worst clothing and leave all your nice items at home. I will never forget attending a "World Blitz" at my church. I was about to go to Bulgaria and Romania, and I had to go through a time of training. (you can read about this in my blog called "Confessions of a Missionary: Part 1") I remember looking the part. I had found my ugliest, oldest, stain-ridden clothes. I was rocking the fanny pack, the missionary braids, and even the missionary bandanna. I had my "Save the World Blitz" t-shirt on with my unmatched long skirt. If I remember right, I was also sporting a pair of Keds tennis shoes – and socks to match the t-shirt, of course! (Oh, and I am pretty sure I had the matching hair scrunchie as well!) I took out my earrings – heaven forbid they get stolen! (sarcasm) I was ready to go save Bulgaria and Romania, and I had the t-shirt to prove it! Well, I will never forget getting off the airplane and being completely ticked off, because all the Bulgarians looked and dressed nicer then me. I looked ridiculous. All I wanted to do was go shopping for new clothes. I was horrified when I realized that all I had prepared and packed for was not what this country needed. Then it hit me. Wait, aren't we representing Christ and the very heart of God? Surely, even Jesus back in Bible times didn’t look as ridiculous as I do! I remember feeling like a complete idiot, going from church to church preaching the Gospel, all the while realizing there had to be more. I can almost guarantee you those churches wouldn’t remember me today! I am thinking it's time for a new missionary handbook to be written. We have got to lay this prideful missionary spirit down that says, "We know best." The truth is that oftentimes, we don't know best, and it’s time to allow God to teach us what it really means to be on the mission field.  So Reflect Jesus well on the mission field! 

6. Be Willing to Bleed, Suffer, and Die
Don't enter the mission field if you are not willing to bleed, suffer, and die for your neighbors. If you are not there yet, then please save money on newsletters and business cards, and just make your community and family your mission field for a season. I’m pretty sure I don't need to go into any more detail. Be willing to bleed, suffer, and die, or don’t go – end of story.

7. Don't Harass the Churches
Prospective missionaries often go from church to church asking for financial support, and I would love to see that changed! Certainly, there must be another way! Now, I am not saying that it is wrong to go from church to church, but we must be careful to not cast a vision without actually acting upon it. Churches in America have been burned by missionaries overseas who end up abusing the finances they receive. Don't quote me if I am wrong, but I am pretty sure the Bible says, “Go into all the world, preach the Gospel, and make disciples of men.” If that is the case, I am pretty sure that we as a Church have been wrong. Instead of simply going, we are hitting up every church in America, sucking the Church dry for our building projects. We are too busy sending out prayer cards and newsletters when we should be sitting and washing our neighbors’ feet. We need to seek the heart of God and figure out what Scripture says about raising funds – there has to be another way!

8. A Word to the Parents
Dear parents, please stop sending your rebellious teenagers overseas, thinking that living in a third world country will change them. If I had a dollar for every parent who wanted to send their rebellious teen to me, I could possibly feed a section of Haiti! I'm not sure what the reasoning is when you send your teenagers to a foreign country and expect a mission organization to fix them. Can you please just step it up? Go hold them until they heal. Go tackle them to the ground, and make sure they know you are completely for them, and love them. Stop emailing me, because, no, I will not take your rebellious teenager. But I would be glad to pray for you and would encourage you to hold them until they heal. Parenting doesn't stop when children become teenagers. When they hit the teen stage, it simply means that we as parents have to step it up and parent them with a purpose and a passion! Trust me I am parenting 6 teenagers this year, and I personally understand how difficult it is.  I feel your pain- but please keep them off the mission field for now. Let their schools be their mission fields. ;)

9. Avoid Zeal Without Knowledge
I had a missionary ask to serve alongside of me. I said “no,” and here is the reason why: I went on a trip with this person, and while I was impressed by their passion and zeal for the people of Haiti, I was disappointed by their behavior in the following situations:

- During times when I was sharing or preaching, this person would walk away in the middle of the ministry time because they “felt led” to go do something else. I had a hard time believing it was the Holy Spirit’s leading, because it was both rude and disrespectful.  

- This person kept claiming that they had come to wash my feet, but instead they had made lists of things in the ministry that needed to be fixed. One time, this person humiliated me in front of my staff by pointing out all my flaws (as if I don't already know them!).

- This person would always abandon their post. They didn't receive orders, but only tried to interpret the orders. I remember a time at the market, when this person had been given a specific job to accomplish, but abandoned it to go preach the Gospel.

- This person was always defensive and constantly played the devil’s advocate, while continuously talking about their strengths and what they could do for the ministry.

The Bible clearly says in Luke 14:10, “But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests.”

I could possibly write a book titled "What Not to Do with Your Non-Profit.” However, one thing that has definitely helped our ministry is hiring the right people! We have zero strife amongst the leadership and no drama – just pure JESUS and teamwork, having the same mind-set and aim to build God's kingdom, not our own! (Now please note it took me a long time to get there! I have made my fair share of missionary mistakes!)

So, be careful, my friends. Don't get caught up in hype and zeal. Rather, let's use our God-given brains and allow God to teach us how to survive the mission field in a biblical way! Let's take the lowest place and serve!

10. How I Supernaturally Funded and Self-Supported My Family
Just because you have a business card, website, and a "big dream" does not make you a missionary. I remember when I first went to live in Haiti. I had no business cards (and still don't), no website, no brochures, and had never sent a newsletter. I had a clear word from the Lord to not ask a single person for money. I have only asked for money once, and that was when I asked the church I grew up in, and where my father pastored. I still to this day do not have a single church supporting me or the ministry. I remember one of the board members even sent me a check for $200.00, saying they would get back with me. Well, they never did get back with me. I remember sitting in Haiti, in tears, thinking, How can a church that I grew up in, where my father pastored, not support me? If they could at least send me one dollar a month, that would at least heal this church wound that has entered my heart.

I had to sit back and watch friends I had grown up with in youth group get monthly support because their family members were on the board. But somehow the single lady with a bazillion kids, whose father was the pastor, gets ignored? I was having a pity party, asking the Lord how was I going to do this if I had no supporters. Well, that is where I was wrong. I was asking God how I was going to do this. But in reality, It should never be about me and you. It's about God – end of story! I was in the wrong mind-set! Somehow I had made this whole thing about me, when it actually had nothing to do with me.

So, here is how we have survived the mission field: we sold everything! We sold it all. We supported ourselves with the supernatural help of God. We sold our car and our belongings, and traded them in for the Haitian people. We chose to live amongst the people of Haiti for three years, on a rooftop. I have never asked a single person for money other than my father's church – and I plan to keep it that way. God supernaturally provided! The ministry exploded once I finally surrendered! I stepped out and allowed God to step in and run this mission. We need to stop thinking that we have something to accomplish on the mission field. Let us abandon ourselves! Let us crucify ourselves, and choose to die daily to our flesh! May we crush our flesh, and tell our Spirit to rise! May we look, smell, walk, talk, and breathe like Jesus! Amazing and miraculous things happen when we step out and allow God to step in. I am living proof of this! There is no way some young, very broken girl like me could have done this! I did nothing other than crucify myself in Christ! I am not amazing – I simply said “yes” to dying to myself.

(Bonus Advice...) If You Don't Like the People or the Country, Go Home!
If you don't like the country, please don't move there. One of my biggest irritations is when missionaries dislike the native people. As I’ve worked here in Haiti, I’ve constantly been appalled at how many missionaries dislike Haitians. I don't understand it. I know one organization that decided they couldn't trust any Haitians, so they fired all their Haitian staff and only have Americans running the mission. I would like to ask them why they are even in Haiti in the first place! Now, don't get me wrong. I, too, have fired Haitian staff due to lack of integrity, etc. But what I am learning about the Haitian people is that many of them just don't know another way of living. There is such a lack of "men" in Haiti, men willing to step up and do the right thing. But isn't that why we are in Haiti? Isn’t our desire to disciple and reach out to the Haitian people? I am praying for godly masculinity and femininity to be restored in this country! I pray that God gives you an unconditional love for His people! – may you see them through His eyes.

(And a Final Note to Pastors and Churches...)
Here is my advice to pastors who are considering supporting a ministry through their church. What I have noticed is this: many individuals who couldn't survive working in ministry in the U.S. flock to different countries. There are people who were on food stamps while living in the U.S. now making eighty thousand dollar yearly incomes on the mission field. ( I am not bashing people who need govt assistance!- just an observation) We have unstable, unhealthy, and spiritually, emotionally and mentally ill people running ministries overseas. Actually, it is probably the same with many churches today. We have unhealthy pastors – pastoring! The difference is this: it seems that we missionaries can get away with a lot more, due to the fact that we are overseas and just send a newsletter or post a blog from time to time.

Here is what I recommend you do before you decide to support a missionary:

1. If possible, go to the country they are in and visit them. Sometimes websites and social media sites do not portray truth, but only cast a vision.

2. “Stalk” the prospective candidate on the Internet. Some missionaries tend to “flaunt” their work in a sense. For example, they’ll buy a poor person a plate of food, and then brag about it by posting a picture on Facebook or Twitter. If you see something like that happening, consider it to be a red flag!

3. If the missionary bashes other people or talks against another organization – run! If they are willing to talk negatively toward their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, it’s another red flag! There is never any excuse for missionaries to trash one another – end of story! We need to control our tongues! “Out of the heart the mouth speaks” – listen to what is in the person’s heart, and listen with discernment.

4. I have seen many missionaries start something and then end it after only a year or two. I am tired of seeing marriages fall apart on the mission field. I am tired of hearing about the missionaries who fall into sexual temptation. Before you support someone, make your expectations "over the top" clear! Keep the person accountable! Those of us who have nothing to hide will have no issues with showing you our bank statements and financial dealings. Make sure there is a level of accountability!  Also, maybe you are just called to GIVE with no expectations- if that is the case, then obey.  Don't listen to me by any means.  I am just a professional rambler! ;)

5). We have lots of dreamers, but not a whole lot of doers! A church should be known for its sending capacity, not its seating capacity! Set a clear "Code of Conduct" for the missionaries your church supports. Have someone in your congregation oversee this area. Make sure communication and organization are extremely detailed and sound. Search the Scriptures, and find out exactly what God has to say about all this. Touch His heart first, before touching the hearts of missionaries. Once you have touched His heart, He will lead you to the missionaries you are supposed to send, support, and strengthen!
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