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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

My Top 3 Church Confessions

My Top 3 Church Confessions

Yes, I love God.  Always have, always will.  It's my faith that has gotten me through this insane journey, otherwise known as my life. 

But I have a confession to make...I don't like church. Never have, probably never will.

Maybe it’s because I grew up as a pastor’s kid.  I was forced to sit in the front row, where I felt like all eyes were always upon me.  I hated living in this glass house that was created for me.   Church to me felt like a performance, not some Holy Experience.  Now for the record, I was never one of those wild pastors’ daughters.  The most I ever did was chew gum in church, well, that and take two communion cups of grape juice (but then, hasn’t everyone done that a time or twelve?). 

Maybe it’s because getting this many children ready every Sunday morning has been years of complete exhaustion.  

I am convinced my Pastor needs to have a special handicapped parking space just for me.  Because after getting that many kids ready and out the door, by the time I pull into the church parking lot, I am feeling pretty well disabled. Sometimes I think people need to just have a wheel chair ready for me, so after I get my kids dropped off and signed into their appropriate classes they can just wheel me in.  I sit down most of the time during worship, not out of irreverence, but out of pure exhaustion.  If you ever saw me crying in church, most likely it wasn't because I was touched by the Holy Spirit. ;)  

Thank God my parents taught me what it was to have a relationship with God, not just some Sunday morning experience.  I am forever grateful for them teaching me what a quiet time was, how to hear that still small voice, and encouraged me to search out scriptures that provide the daily guidance for our lives. Even though our family was and is known for its extreme dysfunction, I am at least grateful my parents taught us about the heart of God.  That overshadows all the rest. 

I have learned that church is not a religion, it's a building.  The Pastor is not God, nor should he ever be placed on some pedestal.  It's a man trying to lead by example, the best that he knows how, both on Sunday and throughout the week. He or she will make mistakes and when they do, the sun will still shine, Big Bird will still be yellow, and God is still on the throne. I mean that's what Forgiveness is for... right? 

I am convinced the church should not worry about its seating capacity, but its sending capacity.

Church is supposed to be a place where people feel safe to fellowship and unite in worship. My prayer is that churches everywhere become more outwardly focused instead of inwardly focused. 

365 million orphans in this world, while the church is building coffee shops.  May God awaken our hearts to revival not caffeine.

Here are my top 3 Utterly Ridiculous Church Confessions. 

1). I pop beano into my children's mouths like it is candy before church.  While the congregation is praying, I am normally praying one of my kids don't drop a smelly bomb in the middle of service, like they do most everywhere else.  I normally have my roll on perfume ready and my fragrance hand sanitizer ready just in case they decide to drop a bomb.  If one does get dropped, I just casually apply the hand sanitizer to my hands and pray it helps disguise the smell.   

2). I attend mega churches so I don't have to socialize.  Pathetic? Yes, I know.  I am well known for showing up late, leaving early, and sitting in the back nearest the exit.  I am not saying I am proud of this.  I know it’s ridiculous and utterly childish, but I just can't help it.  I have the personality where everyone asks me to do this and lead that, and I just struggle with the concept of just saying NO. I try and tell my children to not mention what their mother does for a living, for fear they will have me come speak in some women’s group, make a video, lead a small group, do some mission special, or head up some children's programs.  Is this selfish? Probably.  I just get exhausted because in this family, we can’t help but make a scene pretty much wherever we go, and people always want to know "OUR STORY."  Next thing I know it people want to know how to adopt, how I can afford having so many children, why I am still single, etc. 

3). I text in church.  Not proud of it, and I don't recommend it.  Ever since it was cool to open your Bible using the YouVersion BIBLE APP on your iPhone, I have found that it has also been so tempting to catch up on an email or a text message.  I have had text conversations with my pastor’s wife, and other friends who are pastors’ wives in the middle of church, so obviously I’m not the only one that is guilty in this area.  I normally don't text when my Pastor is speaking, but when there is a guest speaker… GUILTY! 

Well there you have it….my Top 3 Church Confessions.  Thank God his mercy is new every morning!



For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. - Romans 12:3-5