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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Keeping Faith

 Keeping Faith

I am sitting on a rooftop in Haiti writing this now, and my heart hurts deeply this night.  I can't even begin to accurately express my heart wrenching day.  I can still smell the wood from the little small coffin that was built, and the sounds of the hammer beating the nails into the coffin still haunt me.  I can still smell the dirt as I watched our workers dig a deep hole.   I tried to hide my pain, but couldn't help the tears that seemed to flow so freely as I watched one of our babies being lowered into the ground.  I could barely stand as I watched them cover her tiny casket with dirt.  Thankfully there was a chair nearby, but once I sat down, I realized just how exhausted I really was.  

They planted a palm tree where baby Faith was buried, and even though this tree was meant to honor baby Faith, it just didn't seem right.  No mother should have to bury their child.  As I walked down the pathway to our mission home, it felt like a journey without end.  I still can't help but replay the images….bathing her lifeless body…getting her dressed in the prettiest dress I could find…searching for the softest blanket I could find…having to force her eyes closed, as my hands shook.  Wiping the blood that seemed to just be draining from her tiny body….trying to see through my tears as I put little frilly socks on her tiny feet.  Oh how my heart hurts. 

I broke down as I saw each one of my Haitian kids place their favorite toy and stuffed animal into her coffin, already filled with letters from my kids and beautiful pictures they had colored.  Today was a day of mourning.  Someone emailed me and told me I should throw a party and celebrate her life, but somehow throwing a party for a baby who only had the chance to live for a couple months didn't feel right.  There is a time for mourning and this is definitely that time.  

Baby Faith died at 1:05PM today… in the arms of her loving nurse and her favorite caregiver who happens to be a pastor’s wife.  She now rests safely in the arms of her daddy God.  I can see her smiling and waving her arms, and I am reassured that baby Faith is no longer in pain.  She suffered from Hydrocephalus and was scheduled for a lifesaving surgery in January, but unfortunately, it just wasn't soon enough.  She was one of our babies that we had placed in our nursery for the terminally ill.  For those of you who may not be aware, we have started a hospice nursery for Haitian babies in honor of my late mother.  We of course fight for their lives both medically and through prayer... but if for some reason they do die, they die with full bellies, cherished, and in the arms of family.  

We have a scripture on our wall in our office at the mission, and it reads: "We walk by Faith, not by Sight." - 2 Corinthians 5:7.  Even when things don't turn out the way we hope, we are reminded, encouraged, and commanded to always Keep the Faith, even through the darkest of nights.




1 comment:

  1. I love you dear friend and have prayed for Faith and your family. There are no comforting words during mourning, but I weep with those who weep and am very very proud of you and you are certainly in the right place to be the Light of the world.
    Hugs
    Natasha

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